Here tonight, I look at my family sleeping. And I feel terribly alone. Your voice is singing in my ears. You’re beside me, us looking at each other, but I can’t touch you.
I swallowed back tears.
I feel a sharp pain, remembering your sweet curve of a smile. When dawn emerges, I wish you’re by my side, to whisper me good morning, to tickle me silly till I scream crying happily for you to stop. And I pounce and tickle you in return to see that look of surprise on your face till you laugh, gasping.
When the night is too cold, too silent, I’ll play pretend that I could feel you’re snugling with me.
I sing your ballads softly so I could fall asleep.
When I have something interesting to say, I wonder.. Wouldn’t it be fun to passionately debate to the point of quarelling with you? Sometimes I just eat your favourite food, so for a moment, it’s like a dinner with you.
And what’s worse, I couldn’t even visit your last home. Just to touch your tomb, the ground where you sleep. Just to sit there, and speak to you when life gets hard. Maybe wish you a happy birthday.
You’re the only one I feel safe with. I feel true joy in children’s laughter, in my memories of your laughter. In smiling when I think of you.
I yearn for you. I yearn and I yearn. And then I cry.
God, why? Such a beautiful man, such a forgiving man. He deserves all the love, and the kindness. Why did you let them get to him? He tried so hard. He cried of loneliness, pleading for friends to stay. He bled though he had only been guilty of generosity and having compassion. But he love life, he loves you and he loved till his ending day. Why didn’t you erase his agony?
Till this day, the world is in ruins. An ongoing world war. I ask of you, please forgive all of us.Show us the way, give us the courage, and let compassion and love seep into our hearts.
And I hope Michael is now happy by your side. May his little darlings bloom to continue his work to help the world.
